After we spent our (free! whoopee!) night in a shitty little Econolodge and performed two shows today in Hartford, CT on what was easily the smallest stage we've ever encountered, I realised we were into the 70s. Yep, today we broke 70 performances.
It feels like it, too.
The size of today's space was enough of a challenge that we had to re-block certain aspects of the show even without the house. The stage was a total of 16 feet deep.
Let me repeat that.
The stage was a TOTAL of 16 feet deep.
That's practically a closet.
The other thing I realized today, fully, is that I've got some serious burn out.
It's been creeping up on me, as I'm sure anyone who reads this has been noticing, but today was sort officially the day that I realised just how ready I am for this to end. Not because the kids weren't wonderful - they were. Not because the stage was small - the cast pulled together and, as always, worked through the complications (albeit in the face of less helpful people...).
I think I'm just having trouble remembering what makes this experience joyful.
Our nerves are always relatively fraught, but lately it feels like that is more the case than ever.
I think that what it boils down to is the fact that I wanted this to be a more professional experience than it has been lately. I want to make clear that I don't feel this way because of my fellow cast-mates. We may stress each other out, but we tend to stay civil towards one another.
Unfortunately, I have to work with people besides the cast who don't always stay civil. Nor am I convinced that they are even partially civilized.
Still, when the going gets tough, I just remind myself that I have less than two weeks left. And after that, I'll be able to say I completed one of these tours!
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